The Buffoon and The Valedictorian Lyrics

"And now the buffoon's date at the drive-in with the school's
valedictorian."
Valedictorian: "I really appreciate you're asking me out. Most people
are intimidated by my high academic achievement."
Buffoon: "This movie s*cks shit!"
Valedictorian: "Well, Ebel gave it thumbs up, but Ciscel thought it was
too preachy. Anyway, I enjoyed the director's last film immensly."
Buffoon: "Cathleen Turner has big f**kin' tits!"
Valedictorian: "Yes, well, she recently had a child. I think her
maternal biology may play a role in that. She looks fabulous for a woman
her age, doesn't she?"
Buffoon: "I put a firecracker in a bullfrog's mouth and blew his f**kin'
head off."
Valedictorian: "Well, in psychology we learned that it is not uncommon
for male adolescents to commit savage acts on animals as part of their
maturing process."
Buffoon: "That girl in the f**king car in front of us, she gives
everybody head."
Valedictorian: "Well, I guess she's strong for attention and she feels
promiscuity is the only way to obtain it."
[Buffoon eating popcorn]
Buffoon: "This popcorn's f**kin' terrible. It tastes like someone jizzed
all over it."
[Buffoon continues to eat popcorn]
Valedictorian: "Well the amount of semen on this popcorn is certainly
disturbing. Perhaps the staff in the refreshment stand was overcome by
the monotony of their work and decided to play a childish prank."
Buffoon: "I looked at my a*shole in the mirror today. It blew my f**kin'
mind!"
Valedictorian: "It's ironic that parts of one's body seems odd and
unusual because you don't see them on a day to day basis.
Buffoon: "My father's shit stinks up the bathroom all f**kin' day!"
Valedictorian: "It's puzzling why one person's fecal odor can be more
overpowering than another's. I wonder whether it is a function of the
food digested or that person's internal metabolism."
Buffoon: "I'm gonna go get head from that f**kin' girl."
[Gets out of the car]
Valedictorian: "Well, I'm sorry to see the date come to such an abrubt
conclusion."
[Buffoon walking away]
"I do appreciate the time you spent with me and look forward to a future
rondevue."
Buffoon: "I like to piss in that guy's f**kin' gas tank!"
Valedictorian: "Bye bye! Have fun."
[Buffoon continues to walk away]

Adam Sandler - They're All Gonna Laugh at You

Sep 1993

1. Assistant Principal's Big Day
2. The Buffoon and The Dean Of Admissions
3. Buddy
4. The Longest Pee
5. Food Innuendo Guy
6. The Beating Of A High School Janitor
7. Right Field
8. The Buffoon and The Valedictorian
9. Mr. Spindel's Phone Call
10. The Thanksgiving Song
11. The Beating Of A High School Bus Driver
12. Oh Mom...
13. Fatty McGee
14. At A Medium Pace
15. The Beating Of A High School Science Teacher
16. The Cheerleader
17. I'm So Wasted
18. Lunchlady Land
19. The Beating Of A High School Spanish Teacher
20. Toll Booth Willie
21. Teenage Love On The Phone
22. My Little Chicken